Getting through the holiday season can be tough when family personalities clash and you don’t feel completely safe or comfortable. Being expected to host or actively participate in a holiday meal can add extra pressure, especially in a blended family. It can be tempting to make an excuse and avoid the meal altogether, but choosing to show up can be an empowering act.
Sometimes the discomfort isn’t the situation itself, but how it feels in the moment. By facing something challenging, you give yourself the chance to build resilience, strengthen your ability to handle difficult moments, and prove to yourself that you are capable of more than you may have thought. What feels uncomfortable now can become a powerful opportunity for growth and self-confidence.
Here are some practical tips to help make it more comfortable and enjoyable for everyone:
1. Set realistic expectations
Not every holiday meal has to be perfect. Blended families are still figuring things out, and that’s okay. Aim for peaceful and respectful, not flawless.
2. Include everyone in small ways
Let different everyone help choose a dish, set the table, or pick music. Feeling included even in a small way can help people feel more comfortable and valued.
3. Respect different traditions
Each side of the family may have their own holiday customs. If possible, mix traditions or rotate them year to year so no one feels like their background is being ignored.
4. Keep conversation positive while focusing on kindness, not closeness
You don’t have to feel super close to everyone for the meal to go well. Simple politeness, gratitude, affirmations and kindness go a long way. Practicing previous Health Home tips can also support a sense of safety and calm, even if conversations become tense or disagreements arise.
5. Be patient with awkward moments
Silences or awkward interactions are normal, especially in blended families. They don’t mean the holiday is failing. Sometimes people just need time to warm up.
6. Give yourself breaks
If things feel overwhelming, it’s okay to step away for a few minutes to help in the kitchen, play with younger siblings, or get some fresh air.
7. End on a positive note
A shared dessert, a game, or affirming each person for being part of the holiday meal can help the meal end with a good feeling, even if parts were tense. Affirming the process of getting together can be what starts to shift hearts and minds toward the family get-togethers.